Hey everyone and welcome to another week of Headlines that aren’t at all weekly! I want you to know I got four hundred words into an article titled “Boston Red Sox 2013 World Series” but right around the time when I was singing the praises of David Ortiz, Kojii Uehara, and detailing the complex tie between the Boston Red Sox and my relationship with my father I mostly realized that you guys probably don’t care. So hey, shoot me a message and I’ll send you a long disertation on why the Red Sox are awesome and why I’m thinking of glueing a beard onto one of my cats but until such a time as that I will merely say: Thanks Red Sox, you guys are great. And now: let’s make with the humor.
Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag came out to RAVE reviews this week. This just proves that every once in a while when developers listen to the people who actually play their games good things can happen. I mean the best parts of Assassin’s Creed 3 were the parts on the ship so what did the people who make these games do? They made a game mostly ABOUT being on a ship. As opposed to most game developers who would notice that everyone really like the sailing portions of their game and then make a game about being a struggling artist trying to make your way through the tough world of Corporate Sales with a picture of the ship from Assassin’s Creed 3 on the wall of your office.
The first trailer of X:Men Days of Future Past came out this week and after spending the last few months making fun of the movie I ummm… Well I… okay so the trailer looks AWESOME! Here’s the thing: if this movie is actually about a face-off between young Professor X (as played by James McCavoy) and old professor X (as played by Patrick Stewart) I am IN! I’m not saying that’s what the movie is going to do, but if it does that… it could be awesome. So awesome I would readily admit to being SUPER wrong about it. Which I do not do lightly.
Ender’s Game took the top spot in the box office this week. The movie has gotten fairly good reveiws though as usual with adaptations of popular books there are the “This movie is terrible the book was so much better!! In chapter four on page 7 there’s a sentence about Ender’s left brain that is the BEST PART OF THE BOOK!! How dare they not put that in!!” And then the people sitting beside them with their mouths full of popcornn going “wait… there’s a book?”
(A random treatise of book adaptations) Here’s the thing guys: books and movies are VERY different things. Yup. Think about that. The way you read a book and the way I read a book are probably VERY different. I love books, love the idea of letting my imagination create a world and populate it with these awesome characters envisioned by the author, but when I go see a movie based on that book if I’m expecting to see exactly what I imagined… it’s not gonna end well. Now certainly some movies do a better job capturing the essence of a book then others but in the end that’s all your getting “essence.” There’s a reason it was a book. If you want to go to a theater and watch your version of Ender’s Game I recommend you bringing both the actual book and a very large set of earplugs and heroine. That’s about as good as you are getting. I thorougly enjoy both the Lord of the Rings books AND the Lor of the Rings movies but a part of doing that is being willing to face the fact that the movie will not look exactly like it did in my head. Cause if it did… that would be a book. And I would be Aragorn. (stepping down from soap box)
Hey do you guys remember RIPD the movie?? Well guess what?? It’s on DVD!! So next time your at redbox and looking for a good movie to rent NEVER RENT RIPD!!!
In other DVD news The Hobbit: Special Extended Edition is now available!! This leads to the question: did The Hobbit really need to be longer? Don’t get me wrong: I will own this. I will own this because I am a RABID Lord of the Rings fan. I have read just about every book vaguely connected to Lord of the Rings at one time or another. I’ve read books literally called “Random Thoughts JRR Tolkein had about Middle Earth that he may have mentioned at some point to someone.” I play Lord of the Rings Trivia and do WELL. I am that sort of nerd. What I lack in muscle (everything) I make up for Lord of the Rings knowledge. But did the majority of people sit through the thirty minute scene where Gandalf, Galadriel, and Saruman talk about their favorite gardening implements and think “Man, I wish that scene had been longer!! I feel like Galadriel didn’t say nearly enough vaguely foreshadowy things.” Yeah… probably not.
Positive reviews are already trickling in for Disney’s “Frozen” including some guy on Yahoo who said it was “the best Disney musical since Beauty and the Beast.” We mine as well all just give up now guys, Disney will own us in a few years anyway. Maybe if we just quitely move to Florida and start tunneling we can build a secret underground nation under Disney World, it’s the last place they’ll look.
Olympus Has Fallen has officially been tagged as a movie getting a sequal. For those of you who don’t remember Olympus Has Fallen was the generic action movie starring Aaron Eckhart and Gerard Butler where the White House gets taken over by terrorists. This is not to be confused with “White House Down” the generic action movies starring Channing Tatum’s Mumbly Face and Jamie Foxx in which the White House gets taken over by terrorist. Rumor has it the plot of Ollympus Has Fallen 2: No For Reals this Time, will be Aaron Eckhart and Gerard Butler laughing at footage from White House down and talking about how ridiculou the film’s presmise is.
In sports news College Football is apparently still happening. I have no idea how college football works and it’s not cause I don’t like football (go Patriots) I just have issues sitting down for three hours watching people who are admittantly WORSE then other people who do the exact same thing the next day. This would be like paying the same price to see Les Miserables put on by the American Institute for the tone deaf (which I proudly could be a member of) as you would to see the Some-Relevant-Broadway-Reference players perform the piece. It just seems like there are better way to spend my time!
Well thanks for reading guys! Check back on Thursday when there is a very slim chance I will review Ender’s Game and a very great chance I will make something up as I go with no plan at all!!