The Movies of November

Posted: October 31, 2013 by Micah in Randomnicity

So allow me to say first with as much honor and sobriety as is called for on such as occasion that THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES!!! THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES!! Throw whatever you have in your hands up into the air!! Stand up, take off your pants, and run around screaming at the top of your lungs cause THE RED SOX WON THE WORLD SERIES!! Okay… whew… I’m back. You should… you should probably put your pants back on now. Especially you Melvin. Anyway, next week I’ll probably post a long million word column on why sports are awesome and why the Red Sox are an incredible symbol of why we care about baseball but today I must keep my promise to the four of you who actually read this blog and talk about some November movies (and costume ideas)!! So happy Halloween, happy world series, and happy pants-back-on-ness!! Let’s do this!!

(Editor’s Note: There are still no pictures being uploaded in WordPress. I’d like to personall apolagize for you having nothing to distract you in this post from Micah’s brain. No seriously: sorry.)

The Movies of November

Ah, November, the long months I have pined for you! The long hours I have sat and watched your trailers and thought “Oh would that it were not October… or August… or any other month besides the one that it is.”  But it’s finally here!! So let’s get to it!

November 1st:

Ender’s Game:

November starts off with a bang as it leads off with Ender’s Game an adaptation of the classic Orson Scott Card book of the same name. Reviews have said the movie leans a little more towards the cerebral side of things rather than the action side but honestly if you’re adapting Ender’s Game that’s probably what it should look like. Ender’s Game looks to be a great movie faithfully adapted from a great book and I am IN!!

Costume idea: Zombie Harrison Ford. Which is to say: look exactly like Harrison Ford does now. To borrow the words of Emperor Kuzko “what is holding this guy together?” The collective nerd love of man that’s what.

Free Birds:

A surprisingly funny looking movie based on turkey’s going back in time to keep themselves from being eaten or something like that. Anyway with all the other awesome things coming out this month and the less then awesome sums of money sitting in my “pay extra to watch a movie on a big screen rather than just having some patience and watching it at home” budget I promise you I will not watch this movie. That would be like going to the best all you can eat Chinese buffet in the world and getting the pizza that’s always at those things for some reason (side note: I recently went to a Chinese Buffet with some friends. That was not the best Chinese buffet in the world, you can eat pizza there. Odds are the chefs there are actually Italian. You guys are awesome.)

Costume idea: You probably don’t want to dress as a turkey for Halloween. It just confuses people as to which Holiday we’re currently celebrating. Plus there are few less attractive things in the world then Turkeys. They’re delicious, but ugly; like a delicious mountain of ice cream in the shape of Amanda Seyfried.

November 8th:

Thor 2 The Dark World:

(Or as it should perhaps be known Thor 2: We Promise Loki is in this.) I’m also sold on this movie. All the trailers I have seen look legit, Chris Hemsworth is awesome, and yes I do like Loki. Marvel has yet to let me down since they were sold to the Evil Empire… I mean Disney… who now owns Star Wars which is where the Evil Empire lives— wow… I hadn’t thought of that before—we’re doomed aren’t we? Oh well. At least we can be doomed and watch Thor hit people with a Hammer and Christopher Eccleston wear a bajillion pounds of makeup. Which really isn’t a bad way to go!!!

Costume idea: Thor or Loki are just gonna be overdone. Here’s what you do: buy a black body suit, paint a blue squiggly line going up and down all over the place and go as the career arc of Anthony Hopkins. It’ll be great.

The Book Thief:

I don’t know whether the fact that this movie hasn’t been advertised too much is because it’s bad or because it just doesn’t have as much financial backing as some of the other bigger movies coming out at the same time. Here’s the thing though: The Book Theif is AWESOME!! It’s one of the best ten books I’ve ever read and I do not say that lightly. Plus the movie has Geoffrey Rush playing the father character which is absolutely perfect. I don’t know if the Book Theif will be good or not but it has the potential to be incredible. In all seriousness even if the movie isn’t great: you need to read this book.

Costume idea: Go as Geoffrey Rush!! Glue a fake nose on and just act alternately like a pirate, a speech coach, a caring father, and a member of the Green Lantern! Cause Geoffrey Rush is the SHIZZLE!

November 22:

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I went from not being at all excited about this movie to being at least mildly excited about this movie. I can’t decide whether or not this’ll be good or not… on the one hand I liked the first movie, it was interesting and good and created a cool world full of Jennifer Lawrence and annoying tiny blond people who paint themselves like rocks while teenagers are senselessly murdered around them. The second movie initially looked like it was gonna be a long commentary on government  and why it’s super creepy for old men to sit around and talk about Jennifer Lawrence. More recent trailers have at least shown that there will be some games in here and not just all hunger.

Costume idea: Wear a black dress when people ask you who you are, light yourself on fire. (you will only get that joke if you’ve watched/read this series…. Sorry.)

Frozen:

Disney’s latest entry in the “adorably cute, funny and awesome” series Frozen looks to be just another typically awesome movie from the people who brought you Tangled and then recycled the same character models for this movie.  The sad thing is that that’s not even a bad thing . The movie looks genuinely funny and heartfelt and all that other stuff that we’ve come to expect from Disney-Pixar. They’re like that person from your second grade English class whose papers were ALWAYS awesome and even though she was a soulless husks of a little girl whose idea of a crazy time was alphabetizing her skittles she still always got that A. And somehow… that relates to Frozen… I’m pretty sure.

Costume idea: Buy one of the costumes from Tangled and then put a winter coat on.

Well there you go friends! Happy world series day, Happy Halloween, and have a VERY happy November!!

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