Hey everyone, and welcome to the party! The “I didn’t post on Monday cause I was busy being stuff and doing things” party. It’s not a great party. I’m just being honest.
Anyway, I’ve got like 200 words to get through and I just got home from apple picking so my fingers are seizing up in the shape of Granny Smith’s every time I reach to hit the period button. But never the less, through great pain, and no small amount of personal agony I bring to you: The Weekly Headlines.
In our lead story it continues to be September and there continues to be no good movie news at all. It’s like the movie industry is deliberately mocking us while it hangs out with Thor 2, The Hunger Games 2, Ender’s Game and about ten other great movies coming out in a few months and we’re left to stand next to the stale vegetable stand, dipping soft celery sticks into a dip made of our own boredom. – Yeah… that got away from me somewhere in the middle there.
Disney’s Frozen (also coming in November… curse you Hollywood) recently released its first full trailer. From the look of things the movie will basically be “Tangled: in Snow” but the sad thing is that’s not really a terrible insult. In fact four people just pulled up another window just to find out when the movie is opening so they can buy tickets. No really, keep giving Disney your money… I’ll wait.
Fox announced that it’s starting a new series called “Gotham” that’s supposedly the story of Jim Gordon and some Batman villains in Gotham but the show may not actually have batman in it. Those of you wondering how this will be different from Marvel’s new show “Agents of Shield” (which features a bunch of non-super hero people dealing with a super hero world) the answer is simple: it isn’t. If we’ve learned one thing about DC comics in the last year it’s that there’s nothing Marvel can do that DC can’t do a year later and slightly worse.
On a far more awesome note Agents of Shield debuted yesterday!! Have you not watched Agents of Shield? You should watch it. Sure it’s giving Disney your money, but at least it’s giving your money to Disney so they can give some of it to Joss Whedon. I’m okay with that.
Taking the top spot in the box office this week was “Prisoners” a movie starring Jake Gyllenhall, Hugh Jackmen, and Hugh Jackmen’s huge goatee. For real though, the Goatee got its own makeup person and stunt-tee. It’s actually the exact same facial hair Hugh uses for Wolverine except completely backwards.
Michael Bay continues working on the next movie in the Transformer’s series just kind of because. Tranformers: Age of Extinction, features “Dino-bots” (robots who change into Dinosaurs) attempting to destroy humanity. I could make a joke here but there is literally nothing at all funny about the fact that people keep giving Michael Bay money to make horribly written movies about robots that will now feature the word “dino-bots” in an un-ironic way. Couldn’t we use that money for like… cancer or something? Or how about we just pay Michael Bay lots of money to STOP making movies. Forever. I’m down with either.
A friend of mine lent me Dishonored, an awesome video game that features a sweet teleportation power!! The only problem is that I teleport with all the cunning and accuracy of a concussed duck so… it hasn’t been going super well for me thus far.
The Red Sox clinched a playoff spot last week meaning that I talked to my wife a lot about things she does not care to understand. It also means I’m going to be doing at least one live blog of a baseball game so… be ready not to check this site that day.
Well there you have it friends, that’s the news! Check in next week as I kick October off with a preview of what you should and shouldn’t see in the coming month! Thanks for reading and we’ll see you on the flip side!