The Bats and the Bens

Posted: August 26, 2013 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , ,

Hey everyone, so this weekend… or last week… or some time since I last posted, an announcement was made. A world changing, stomach stopping, fish catching announcement. An announcement that will change life as we know it for the next ten to twenty minutes. That announcement:

FRIED PEANUTS now TWO for ONE dollar. At “Uncle Benny’s Fried Peanut and Fish Tackle Store” conveniently located in the back of Uncle Benny’s car in the Walmart Parking Lot. Come quickly, supplies will probably run out at some point!!

Okay, now that that announcement has been made let’s go ahead and talk about another (far less significant) announcement. Ben Affleck will be playing Batman in DC’s upcoming movie “Batman vs. Superman: Cause People will Buy Tickets. ” And because a few of you asked about it and I am nothing if not a man of the people who happen to wander onto this blog. Here are some thoughts and some answers to your two most popular questions.

Batman vs. Superman cause why not?

Batman vs. Superman cause why not?

Will Ben Affleck make a good batman?

Sure. Why not. You wanna know a deep dark secret? It’s not that hard to play batman. I’m not saying it’s easy, I mean Batman has character depth to him, inherent internal conflict, he’s a dark hero in an increasingly dark world and he faces real struggles of morality unlike some super-heroes (*cough* superman *cough*.) But Batman isn’t exactly Hamlet. Nor (allow me to propose) is Batman the Joker, or Bane, or (dare we say it) Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman. Batman is the steady center around which an extremely interesting cast of characters resolves… or revolves… Or revolvers… or something. The point is that Christian Bale made a great Batman and it wasn’t like anyone was nominating him for Academy Awards or anything. He did a great job with the character by not trying to make the character into something he wasn’t. He stayed true to the Batman inside of himself… and inside of all of us. — except for you. Harold. You can’t be Batman.

Cause there's a little bit of batman in all of us.... sometimes it's his fist but hey- we can't all win.

Cause there’s a little bit of batman in all of us…. sometimes it’s his fist but hey- we can’t all win.

I see no reason why Affleck won’t be able to do that. He’s played characters with dark pasts before. He was actually decent in Daredevil (should be read “Marvel’s Batman”) it’s just that nobody noticed because Jennifer Garner was hot and then dead, and the movie itself was HORRIBLE. Affleck certainly has the gravitas to pull off Batman. I’m not saying every actor in Hollywood could do it, I’m just saying that casting the right guy (for instance: not George Clooney) is a big step in the right direction and I think Affleck is the right guy. Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling (two other popular rumored names) probably also could have done it but I’m fine with Affleck. As long as he sticks to the character Batman will be just fine.

"Wait did he just compare me to George Clooney?"

“Wait did he just compare me to George Clooney?”

Does the casting of Ben Affleck change your thoughts on Superman vs. Batman?      

Ummmm… nope. It’s probably still gonna be terrible. Here’s the thing: the reason DC is doing this movie is because 1: They like money, and 2: They want to make the Avengers. Obviouly every studio wants to make money, I don’t think Walt Disney made the Avengers cause they like happiness and rabbits hopping through guacamole covered meadows. That said they at least seemed to have a plan when they made Avengers. DC seemed to literally go: “Wow that Superman movie made a lot of money I wonder what else would make money?” “What if we put Batman AND Superman together?” “That’s a great idea!! What sort of story should we do?” “I have NO idea, but that’s probably not a big beal right?”

Another big difference: Joss Whedon. You want to know what happens when people make super-hero ensemble movies without Joss Whedon? Fantastic-Four. Joss Whedon spent his career making great ensemble features: Firefly, Buffy etc. I had my reservations about Avengers when it was first announced (search the site to find them… I  have no desire to link my doubting Joss Whedon in a public forum) but my one hope through it all was that I’d seen Joss do this before and it had worked.

You know what the closest thing Zach Snyder (the soon to be director/co-writer of Batman vs. Superman) did to an ensemble film?  Sucker Punch. A film that featured the basic story idea “hot girls with swords vs. robots” and somehow ended up being both heinously poorly planned and incredibly un-interesting. Aside from that his big films are 300 (great visual style. Storyline handed to him on a golden platter. No good dialogue.) and Man of Steel (see review here.) I’m not exactly filled with confidence.

Finally: checkout what I said above about Batman, his good movies have been defined by the incredible cast of characters constructed around him. Batman is awesome, but he can’t be what you’re counting on to make your movie interesting. You know who that is even more true of? Superman. At least Batman has moral struggles, Superman just fights for truth, liberty, and low cost hot dogs at American Baseball games. Putting these two people together in a movie just seems like putting two different vanilla cake mixes in a bowl and expecting to get something other than a vanilla flavored cake.

The question now is who will bring them that cake? Probably not this guy.

The question now is who will bring them that cake? Probably not this guy.

So to summarize: I’m fine with Ben Affleck. Best of luck to him, I’m excited to see what he does with the character. Batman Vs. Superman? I’m still not on board. Let it be stated here though that I’m not saying there’s NO hope this will be a good movie. I’ve been surprised before. Maybe this movie will be great, I doubt it. I think it will be kind of like Man of Steel, a decent movie with a decent storyline and good action sequences. That’s not a bad thing necessarily, it’s just not awesome.

Thanks for reading everyone, a bit more of a serious dissertation then we normally have but sometimes you’ve got to put on your serious shorts and get stuff done! Thanks for reading and check back Thursday for more of your regularly scheduled nonsense.

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