Comic Book Top Ten

Posted: July 18, 2013 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , , , ,

Happy Thursday everybody!! Welcome to the party, grab a snack plate, put some golden covered pretzels on it and sit down for a show that I promise will probably sound vaguely familiar. Ever since I did my bottom 5 comic book movies people have been  e-mailing me/twitting me/PMing me saying “Well Micah, why didn’t you do a top 5 comic book movies?” The answer: I really thought I already had. I mean anyone who has read this sight for more than five minutes could probably give you at least 1-3 of my top 5 comic book movies and where is the fun in that? That is why, on this day, in this place, and with this delicious bag of diamond encrusted Doritos in my hand, I shall commence to write (dun dun DUN)

Micah’s Top TEN comic book movies  

That’s right folks and just to keep you even more in suspense… or something, I’m actually going to do it in reverse order (meaning we’ll start at number 1 (which will surprise absolutely no one) and work our way down from there.) That way at least you’ll have some hope that your favorite movie might make it in (unless it was on the Bottom 5 list in which case you’re hopeless both where this blog is concerned and also where your life in general is concerned. I mean no one will love you if Catwoman is on your Top Ten comic book movie list. No one. With the possible exception of the makers of Catwoman but really who wants to be loved by them anyway? — Yeah. That’s what I thought.

 (Editor’s Note: I think we should all take a few minutes to recognize the three hyphen punctuation mark Micah ended that sentence with. You know what three hyphens stands for in the world of grammar? NOTHING. Editing Micah’s blog is like trying to edit a two year old water buffalo’s attempt at playing Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony on the bongos.)   

1. The Dark Knight

I figured at least the picture could be surprising.

I figured at least the picture could be surprising.

 Yeah, no one is surprised by this. If you want to know my thoughts on the Dark Knight you can click this link here and read what basically amounts to a 1000 plus word love letter to Christopher Nolan. All I’ll say here is that the Dark Knight tops the number 2 movie on this list because it completely transcended the “comic book movie” title and became something else altogether. I’m not saying this is the deepest movie you will ever watch, or even that it speaks to everyone, I’m just saying in a genre made up of movies that nine tenth of the time come out to meaning “With great power comes great responsibility” in one form or another, the Dark Knight was about something completely and entirely different and told its story beautifully.

 (Editor’s note: See how Micah said he wasn’t going to talk about this movie and then proceeded to spend a paragraph making goo-goo eyes at it like a lost kitten? It’s a little sad. It also continued for far longer than would be considered socially decent so I’m just gonna stop it here and move on.)

2. The Avengers

Another hilariously unsurprising choice that you can read about by clicking here. As much as I think Dark Knight is about something more than comics, I think The Avengers is everything a comic book movie can be. It was light and funny and all about teamwork and responsibility and hope and all the things that comic books remind us about. (See how short I kept that?)

Okay, so now the easy top two is over let’s move on to the harder 3-10 section that might actually (dare we say it) occasionally surprise you.

3. V for Vendetta

For the last umm… lot of years I have watched this movie pretty much every November the 5th. It should be stated that this is not a comic book movie meant for children. DO NOT watch this with your children. That said it’s a great movie which stars the ever awesome voice of Elrond. I mean, Hugo Weaving. Another comic book movie that says a lot more than most comic book movies, V is a dark look at a society given in to oppression. I’m not even saying I agree with all of the messages in this movie (I don’t) but I can appreciate the way that they are presented! (and the fact that V is awesome. I appreciate that too.)

4. Iron Man

 Okay so back to the more typical comic book fare here is Iron Man being the shizzle. Great movie in which Robert Downey Jr. just eats up the screen with absolute sheer awesomeliness! There are very few roles in Hollywood that you can look at and go “I can’t think of a single person who would do that better” Iron Man is one of those roles. Downey just hits the roll perfectly and Iron Man served as the absolute launching pad for the rest of the Avengers franchise. Including…

5. Thor

A lot of people don’t like Thor, which is something I don’t understand at all, I mean the movie has great performances by Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston. A surprisingly relatable hero in Thor and some genuinely funny moments provided by Kat Dennings and a somewhat under-utilized Natalie Portman. In addition to all that: Massive Hammer Death. How can you not get behind Massive Hammer Death? Come on America.

Yeah... that hammer.

Yeah… that hammer.

6. X-men

One of the great grand-daddy’s of Comic book movies X-men still holds up really well to the test of time. Hugh Jackmen delivers a great performance as Wolverine and Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen hold the rest of the movie together with stellar performances! Even Halle Berry turns in a decent performance (which is the LAST time I will ever type that sentence) as she plays Storm with an actual African accent (more on this later.)

7. Spiderman 2

HEY, look at that everybody!! Spiderman and not even the new one! I’ve had the whole old spiderman vs. new spiderman debate on this website A LOT. (here and here) And while I think Andrew Garfield is a much better Spiderman this is still the best Spiderman movie. It’s a story that really comes out trying to say something and look at their characters in a different way. Sure Mary Jane was still an annoying, indecisive, red-headed trip down Shallow-person lane; but this was still a great movie!

8. The Dark Knight Rises

 You knew there were gonna be two Batman movies on here right? It was a close fight between Dark Knight Rises and Batman Begins but in the end I’m giving it to Rises because of the surprisingly great performance turned in by Anne Hathaway and because despite how kind of terrible the big “I’m actually an evil person which you could totally see coming from roughly seven miles away” reveal of Marion Cotillard’s character, I did still like Bane as a villain.

9. X2

 Another close fight here between X2 and X-men United. X2 had Nightcrawler (awesome), Wolverine (the sickness) and of course Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellon. While United had brilliant performances by James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, and a very cool retro feel to it. The detractor for X2 was a laughably bad performance by Halle Berry who not only was terrible and horrible but also for no reason at all completely abandoned her accent from X1. As if she looked at the script and thought “Ya know I could do that accent I did in the first movie which totally worked and made my character interesting or (at the very least) less bland… or I could just put as little work as possible into this and cash this check…” It made NOOO sense. I mean in the two years between movies did your character somehow stop being from Africa?

The detractor for X:men united was that, frankly, it kind of just ran out of cool superpowers. I mean the movie featured someone who was essentially Nightcrawler painted red, a guy whose super power had something to do with a tornado that I don’t think he ever actually used, and a girl who could spit large globs of puke colored acid. I’m not saying your scraping the bottom of the super-power barrel, I’m saying you’ve scraped through the bottom of the barrel and are now choicely digging through the worms that live underneath it. X2 gets the win cause at least Halle Berry wasn’t on screen much.

10. Red/Scott Pilgrim

AHH!! no wrong Red wrong Red!!! Make it stop!!!!

AHH!! no wrong Red wrong Red!!! Make it stop!!!!

Showing my usual complete lack of decisiveness I’ve gone ahead and split up my last two comic book choices between Red and Scott Pilgrim. As you may have noted 2 of the top 3 movies are VERY serious. They have dark messages and happen in dark worlds which I enjoy. These two movies happen in the polar opposite world. Red is all about retired CIA agents making a comeback WELL after they have any business being in a fight, and then Scott Pilgrim is essentially a huge and hilarious commentary on comics, video game, pop culture, and anything else they can get their hands on. They are both hilarious and both well worth watching! So see? I don’t just like depressing things where heroes quote Shakespeare in large impressive voices! I like the happy hilarious ones too… though granted they are both as far away from the Dark Knight as possible on this list… hmm…. I should probably search my souls huh? See if I can find one of the many I’ve stolen over the years that has some more happiness in it. I’ll get back to you on that.

So there you have it America!! The article that 3 or 4 of you asked for! Your welcome 3 or 4 of you. The rest of you… come back Monday, I may/or may not have plans to go watch the Lone Ranger this weekend!!  

 

Advertisements
Comments
  1. Katrina says:

    Yay! Two X-Men movies! 😀 😀 😀 Wolverine and I are happy! ^_^ (And I have almost never made that face before and plan on not ever making it again)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s