Weekly Headlines: 6/14/13

Posted: June 15, 2013 by Micah in Weekly Headlines
Tags: , , , , ,

Well hey internet! I’m back from vacation and ready for a rumble in the jungle, a showdown in the snow downs, and some weekly headlines in the… soup lines. Or something. I think. Maybe I’m not ready? But regardless of that, in spite of my own lack of preparedness or research, and some nuclear holocaust level sunburns here are…. the weekly headlines.

Weekly Headlines 6-14-13

In our lead story of the day my hips continue not to lie.

Arnold Schwarzenagger recently confirmed that he’ll be returning for the fifth movie in the “we totally should have stopped after the second movie” movie franchise: The Terminator. When asked how he would deal with the fact that his robot character will have aged roughly ninety years Arnold said “I don’t think of myself as aged, I just look at the wrinkles on my body and pretend that they are even more muscles!” He of course said all that in his trademark and hilarious completely unidentifiable accent.

Speaking of muscles filming recently started on the latest Hercules movies this one starring Dwayne “Don’t call me the Rock” Johnson. Dwayne’s original title “Rockulese” was turned down shortly into filming when Dwayne remembered that he didn’t like it when people called him the Rock despite the fact that everyone (including the voices inside his head) always does.

The sequel to last years Muppet movie formerly titled “The Muppets… Again” has now been renamed “Muppets Most Wanted.” When asked the reason for the change Disney executives muttered something under there breath about “The Muppets… Again” being one of the stupidist movie titles ever.

Adam Sandler recently signed on for a movie called “Hello Ghost.”… And that will hopefully be the last time I have to ever ever ever talk about it.

A Trailer for “The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug” recently went live prompting film director Peter Jackson to once more assure the audience that this movie will contain “way more Smaug.” Granted that won’t be too difficult seeing as how the first movie contained roughly 2.5 seconds of dragon related footage. This as compared to the roughly 30 minutes of “bouncy trouncy flouncy dwarves falling down repeatedly” footage that we all could have done without.

Batman: Arkham Origins officially announced it’s release date (October 21, 2013) this week prompting me to spend severel long hours trying to decide how I could get off of work that week after my wife pointed out that “Batman-itus” was “not even sort of a real thing.”

Ummm.... yes please.

Ummm…. yes please.

Man of Steel debuted this morning to nearly 21 million dollars in sales revenue (that’s in less then 24 hours). Just to put that in perspective the top movie from the box office last week was a film called “The Purge” that made 34 million dollars over the entire week. For those of you wondering I have no interest in what “The Purge” is actually about.

And in our final story for the day Pokemon X &Y continues to be released for some reason. When asked how they are coming up with new pokemon for the game, lead designer Hoppy Hippy said “At this point were pretty much just sneezing on the paper and then playing connect the dots. It’s not pretty.”

Thanks for reading everyone, have a great weekend, and I’ll see you Monday!

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