I post a lot on this blog (in case you hadn’t noticed) if I could sum up the energy for another four or five mouse clicks I would tell you exactly how many posts I’ve done but the ludicrous amount of energy required for such activities makes me want to break out my inner hiberbear and get to sleeping. I’ve posted a lot though so… yeah. Trust me on that one. If you’ve ever bothered to peruse the Categories on the sidebar you may have noticed a growing trend: I post pretty much everything in either Randomnicity or Movie Reviews. They are (for the sake of this illustration) my favorite children. The upstanding comic book loving, baseball playing, model children who get full ride scholarships and appear on national television.
Sports and Video games are (inversely) my red headed step children who sleep out in the snow and… why do we pick on red heads so much anyway? I like red heads. Karen Gillan is a red head and she’s awesome. And hot. Rupert Grint was a red head and he’s– yeah nevermind. But Karen Gillan is a red head.
Sports and Video games are (inversely) my blue headed stepchildren who sleep out in the cold and the snow without shoes or hiberbears. I haven’t posted in the sports column since last baseball season (I think) but I’ve also published a couple sports related podcasts (with more on the way) so at least I’m occasionally throwing sports a half empty can of green beans and some flip flops. But now that I’m between summer movies and have previewed just about everything I can, let’s go ahead and throw video games some tender loving care shall we? Or at the very least a can of cream of mushroom soup (cause what exactly do you use that for anyway), with a list I like to call:
Micah’s Top Three Video Games of 2013
Assassin’s Creed Black Flag
I’m not really ranking these games in any particular order as I fluctuate between them depending on which has most recently released a trailer, like a small child unable to choose which Ice Cream he truly loves (except with less maturity and more facial hair.) Assassin’s Creed Black Flag is the next entry in the much beloved, occasionally hated Assassin’s Creed series. I REALLY liked the last game, Assassin’s Creed: Tanto’s Revenge, but didn’t really care for the second entry of the series (or the fact that they released three different versions of the same game and tried to pretend it was a sequel. This would be like me selling you a plain ham sandwich then coming back the next day with some lettuce and miracle whip and trying to get you to pay the same price for them.) That said, Black Flag looks great and promises to continue some of the coolest parts of Assassin’s Creed: Not At All Racist by letting us once more captain a pirate ship.
Watch Dogs looks like Assassin’s Creeds older, smart, more athletic brother in that it’s still sort of a stealth/action/murder hybrid but this one is set in modern day Somethington and prominently features you computer hacking into traffic lights, ATM’s, and grandmothers to achieve your goals. Hacking is one of those things I would totally be into if it wasn’t illegal and didn’t involve actual intelligence, so a chance to do it in a video game sounds like a really great way for me to be a hacker without the risk of jail time or brain use.
Dragon Age 3
I haven’t actually seen a trailer for this game yet (they haven’t released one) but it’s set for release this year which excites me. I LOVED Dragon Age 1. LOVED. Dragon Age 1 was the Kierra Knightely of my video game life (Mass Effect is Karen Gillan… if you were wondering). I beat Dragon Age 1 like… five times. The world was huge, the characters were interesting, the combat was fun, and the dialogue was great. It was like someone broke into my brain took my ideas for a perfect video game and put them on a screen, and I was happy.
When Dragon Age 2 was announced I was excited, sure it looked different (graphics engine was completely changed), sure my dialogue options were more limited (actual talking rather than just text) but, hey, it was Dragon Age right? Well… ish. Dragon Age 2 (to continue an illustration that is rapidly becoming the basis for my wife never speaking to me again) was like Scarlett Johansson. There was a lot of hype and hubub and everyone freaked out about it forever and in the end it wasn’t that it was bad it was just that it wasn’t everything everyone kept yabbering on about. I meanI have nothing against Scar Jo but… she’s not great. She’s not a great actress she’s just sort of “mass media attractive.” That was Dragon Age 2, it wasn’t that I didn’t like it, it was just that I didn’t really care. The big world of Dragon Age 1 was stuck into a single city, the awesome dialogue was trying so very hard to be awesome that it mostly just ended up falling all over itself (my favorite example being the Pirate Captainess who the writers felt like every single word she spoke had to be somehow construed as sexual innuendo making her not only hilariously stupid sounding but also giving her the character depth of a worm strewn puddle). I could go on but needless to say I beat Dragon Age 2 once, and then sold it.
Now that Dragon Age 3 has been announced it looks like the developers are actually going to listen to the fans though so I’m allowing myself to be at least a little bit excited. A little bit. Warily. With addendums. But excited none the less.
A Quick Note on PS4 and Xbox One.
A couple people asked for my thoughts on this particular topic so here they are: aside from the weird Xbox One naming thing (why go back to one? Wasn’t there already an Xbox 1 namely, the first xbox? You realize you sound a lot less impressive than the PS4, right?) My main thought is that I don’t really care. Yet. I mean talk to me in February when the consoles have been out for a little bit and people have stopped murdering eachother outside of Walmarts to get them and maybe I’ll care more but given the fact that both these consoles will be selling for roughly the price of a small car for the immediate future my interest is purely academic. I will say that Microsoft FORCING me to get a kinect (the video camera attachment thing that allows you to both play games and look like an idiot) is a little off-putting. When I play a video game microsoft the whole idea is that I want to sit down and relax. Sure dance dance revolution is fun but forcing me to pay extra for something I will probably never EVER use seems a bit presumptious.
Anyway, there you having it Video Game category, a blanket to keep you warm, some soup to keep you living, and some hope that I will probably crush by not posting in you for another year or so. Thanks for reading everyone and check back Monday for another new post!