Summer Questions Part 3: August and September… mostly.

Posted: May 16, 2013 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , , , ,

Well hey internet!! It’s Thursday, Friday’s younger, uglier sister!! But here to make that ugly sister just a little bit better looking, like a new haircut or a margarita at the midnight buffet is my third and final installment of the legendary, questionary, and missionary blog series: Summer Questions!!

Summer Questions Part 3
August, September, and 1 from June that I forgot to talk about before

Question Number 1: How did I forget about Monster University? (June 21st release)

No idea how I didn’t talk about this before! I love the fact that this is a prequel and not an attempt to make a sequel out of a movie that absolutely did not need a sequel. Instead we’re heading back to before Mike and Sully met, back to the college years, the English classes, the proficiency exams, and (in my case) the meetings with the Dean of Men. I think the University idea will give us a cool new angle on the Monster world and give us a chance to look at things from a different perspective rather then once again being stuck inside the scream factory with the weird robo-crab guy (though I am sure he’ll make a cameo in this movie for all of you Robo-crab fans). It probably won’t be my favorite movie of the summer, but it’s certainly got a shot at being one of my favorite Pixar movies which is nothing at all to sneeze at.

Question number 2: What’s with 2 Guns? (August 2nd)

Any endorsements of this movie are in no way an endorsement of Denzel's old man hat.

Any endorsements of this movie are in no way an endorsement of Denzel’s old man hat.

I hadn’t heard anything about this movie until I watched the trailer last week and honestly… it looks kinda good. Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg team up in a movie about bank robbers, marshalls, and learning who you can trust (or something). Granted that’s a fairly tried and true sort of buddy cop formula but sometimes tried and true formulas work. Sometimes Aunt Elga bakes her apple-cranapple-banana-apple pie the same way for twenty years for a reason! I’m not a huge fan of buddy cop movies but for some reason this one looks like it might be good. That said let me re-emphasize something: I’m not a huge fan of buddy cop movies. So I’ll keep my eyes on this one and if it gets decent reviews I will probably go see it, and if it doesn’t I probably will definitely not. Like that first bite of apple-cranapple-banana-apple pie, sometimes it’s best to let someone else go first.

Question Number 3: Wait, Percy who? (Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters: August 7th)

Do you remember about… five years ago when the first Percy Jackson movie came out? Yeah… me neither. For those of you who weren’t born or didn’t care Percy Jackson is pretty much Harry Potter except with the Greek Pantheon and a LOT less talent. Percy Jackson is Harry Potters second cousin whose brain was donated to science after his first birthday. I’m not saying it’s a bad book series, I’m just saying if you start feeling like you’ve been on this carnival ride before, it’s just cause you have. The first movie, Percy Jackson and the Zeusorers Stone, (no one will get that joke…. it made sense in my head) wasn’t bad so much as it just lacked focus and tried to cram to many things into one movie. Also, the fawn may be one of the four most annoying things ever in cinema. All that said, Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters might not be a bad movie, it’s got a chance to tell an interesting narrative featuring some cool characters. It’s also got a chance however to once again get lost in it’s own narrative and have annoying fawn jokes, proceed at your own risk.

Question Number 4: Why am I not at all excited about Elysium?

If you watch the trailer for Elysium it really looks like the kind of movie I should be excited about. Dystopian future, ensuing violence, Jodie Foster making that one face that Jodie Foster makes. It looks like a movie I should be excited for… but I am not. At all. I think maybe it’s just cause I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve seen it before, that it’s gonna have a paper thin plot involving Matt Damon having some sort of “hidden agenda” that will be painfully obvious, and in the end it’s just an excuse for that guy who made District 9 to make a movie that looks almost exactly like District 9 minus the aliens. Also, that weird head contraption bracey thing looks reallly REALLY dumb. And I feel like the people who designed it are still actively patting themselves on the back about how “cool” it looks. I’m not impressed oh ye Back Contraption Design Peoples. Not. Impressed.

Elysium: cause someone had to glue some legos to Matt Damon.

Elysium: cause someone had to glue some legos to Matt Damon.

Question Number 5: Will this finally be the Riddick we’ve been waiting for? (September 2nd)

I’m a fan of the Riddick series, but even just saying that makes you feel like you have to follow that up with “parts of it are really cool.” Which is how Riddick has always worked, it’s a movie that takes place in an interesting universe and features a very interesting and very cool main character in some occasionally interesting and cool settings. That said, it’s a series that get’s stuck in it’s own head… a lot. “Perfect Dark” the first movie is definitely the best of the trilogy (I don’t count the animated movies… nobody should) and even it has about thirty minutes worth of movie that you could skip. The second movie “The Chronicles of Riddick: Sci-fi cliches” tried to do a lot of things, most of which did not work but some of which were really cool (everything that happens on the prison planet.) That’s how Riddick has always been, some really cool sequences in a fairly mediocre movie. Can this Riddick movie (brilliantly named “Riddick”) finally put together all of the right pieces? Definitely. Could it also just be another lackluster drop in a lusty bucket? Also, definitely.

Though they did make a fairly kickin' poster.

Though they did make a fairly kickin’ poster.

Well there you have it Interfriends! The Summer questions, the summer answers, and the summer bummers! Check back Monday for another new post and, hey, why not follow this link and watch me make fun of Once Upon a Time for forty minutes? Have a great weekend!

  1. Lydia says:

    Percy Jackson…I own all the books. *ahem* You might try reading them. Movie was meh, I agree. You might like the written version better though.

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