A Very Serious Post… ish

Posted: November 1, 2012 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , ,

Hey Internets, so I’m gonna take a break from the ongoing epic Villainoscopy and talk about something we all care about and should hold deeply and closely to in the dark fluffy depth of our tiny souls: Politics.

HA HA HA okay no… seriously. We’re gonna talk about Star Wars.

For those of you who don’t know, because you obviously live under a rock or have a fulfilling social life outside of imaginary worlds filled with muppets, Walt Disney recently bought Lucas Arts (the company that makes Star Wars) for the tiny sum of 4.5 Billion Dollars. And yes, that was Billion or (in other words) precisely the number of times Bella Swan makes illogical decisions in Twilight.

This is exactly how I pictured the signing ceremony going.

Needless to say the nerd world has been up in arms. Flabby, little used, cheeto powered arms. Because obviously we (yes I count myself amongst them. Yes my arms are pure corded muscle surrounded manly barbed wire) LOVED the original Star Wars. We LOVED what George Lucas did with the newest Trilogy. And we LOVED all the tiny little mostly useless updates that George Lucas made so that he could release “Star Wars: The Complete Saga Special Special Super Special Not At All Like the last Special Edition, Special Edition… On Blu-Ray!! And in 3D!!!… ish.” Wait, what’s that you say nerdy unwashed masses? You didn’t like those either?? In fact you hated them (and bought them anyway because THAT was obviously the best way to show George you didn’t approve). So wait what you’re saying is you didn’t like what George Lucas was doing with Star Wars but now that he’s sold it to a company that might actually make GOOD movies out of it you’re even less happy and you want George to take it back? Oh. Good.

All right, let’s just take a step back here for a second shall we? The original Trilogy which Lucas directed way back in the day was great, right? Perfect and flawless and a wonderful walk through gilded meadows filled with tiny gnomes holding lightsabers. Really?? Cause they kinda weren’t. At all. Luke Skywalker was whiny. Leaia cornered the market on “heinously annoying,” and then there were Ewoks. Oh… there were Ewoks. And those are just the big things. Don’t get me wrong: I am a star wars fan. I really really like the original movies but are they really as great as we make them? Meh. Nope. They’ve got a great story and a very cool setting and world and things but the characters weren’t super fleshed out, the dialogue wasn’t ever anything to remember (with the exclusion of Han Solo who is awesome and amazing and may he live forever and ever). I’m not saying they’re bad movies. I’m just saying they aren’t some Holy Grail of movie-ness that no one would could ever possibly achieve again in a million years. It’s a wonderful awesome idea, but the execution wasn’t perfect. Why do you think George Lucas keeps releasing a new edition of it every four months (except for the fact that people keep buying them for unknown reasons).

See, you laugh now but you know you’d watch this.

Then you get to the newer movies. Movies 1, 2 and 3 (because Lucas hates counting). Movies that took the flaws from the original movies and made them much much clearer. The dialogue was sketchy, characters seemed to be poorly defined, and some of the acting tended to lean towards the more melodramatic and also featured the face of Hayden Christenson. I’m not saying they were bad movies, I liked them (especially Episode Three). I’m just saying they weren’t perfect. They were great ideas, but you know what they weren’t? Perfect movies.

Let’s switch gears a bit and look at what Disney has done with its Marvel franchise. Disney owns Marvel comics if you didn’t know that, you person who probably has actual friends that you actually see in actual life. You guys remember Avengers, right? Disney made that. And you know what Disney did when they made that? They took a great idea, and found the exact right group of people to make that idea work. And it worked great!

A look into the future of Star Wars

Star Wars is a great, great idea. Awesome stories, cool Jedi typed people, and tiny Yoda puppets all put into one world with a fairly clearly defined story about the constant struggle between light and darkness. George Lucas was never really able to take that idea to its full potential though (in my opinion) because he couldn’t let enough of it go. So why not give Disney a crack at it? Why not let people with a proven track record of taking good ideas and making good movies out of them try it out here. I’m not guaranteeing they’ll be great, but I am guaranteeing it’ll be a fresh start for a series that really needed one. So best of luck to you Walt Disney, may the Force be ever in your favor… or something.

Random Rumors about the New Trilogy Disney is Working On

First off let me say that all these rumors should be taken with a grain of salt. Perhaps two grains of salt. Who knows really, it’s hard to tell with salt. Anyway I really doubt Disney has a plan at all at this point seeing as they bought the rights to make the movies roughly two seconds ago.

Disney will make a new Star Wars story. Not a movie based on one of the four million books that have been released about what happened in the fifty years after the sixth movie (and no that’s not an exaggeration).

It may or may not have any of the characters from the Original Trilogy. Personally, I hope it doesn’t. I think a clean break is in order. Sure, refer to them, maybe have Han Solo make a cameo or something because he’s just that awesome but if I never hear Luke Skywalker’s whiny voice again it’ll make me into a less violent person.

On a random side note did you know that for the last several years Mark Hamill has been voicing the Joker for the animated Batman TV series/video games?? And he’s actually pretty awesome at it. Who would have thought huh?

Sure he’s no Heath Ledger, but he’s also no Luke Skywalker… so that’s a win.

Anyway, that’s all I got for today folks! Feel free to comment and disagree and never ever buy another Walt Disney product again! It’s all in your court! We will return to your regularly scheduled Villainoscopy on Monday. Have I mentioned that that’s a REALLY bad name. Cause that’s a really bad name.

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Comments
  1. cscha963 says:

    I actually don’t care much for star wars, but I never did take into account the fact that Disney now owns Marvel. The Avengers was ok. Not Thor bringing the beat down on Iron Man while Hulk plays ragdolls with Loki awesome, but it was definitely good.

    • Bee Rad says:

      I would love if some of the books out there were used as starting points, for example the X-wing series, or I, Jedi. That should help met out the character’s developmental flaws that were predominant in the second series, 1-3. (thanks George)

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