Some Summer Randomnicity

Posted: July 24, 2012 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , , , ,

So it’s late and I can’t sleep but am at a good stopping point for my “serious writing” projects… so guess what time it is??

Micah Goes Random!! 

Recently my wife and I marathoned our way through Downton Abbey. Marathon apparently doesn’t have a past tense so I made one up. I marathon, you marathon, he marathoned. Get over it. Marathoning (also not a word) is really the best way to watch TV shows. I hate waiting a week between episodes. It’s like watching a REALLY long movie but you have the advantage of having long breaks programmed into the movie every hour. All that to say that in a 48 hour period my wife and I watched however many episodes were in season 2. (Yes it was a weekend). Right in the middle of this Marathon we went and watched The Dark Knight Rises which led me to this conclusion: If I could pick one place on Earth where I would be the least likely to meet Batman, it would be Downton Abbey.

First off none of the people in this house can keep a secret to save their souls…

I just can’t picture Matthew Crawley walking out of the grand double doors of Downton and then having the camera pan up to reveal Batman wrapped around one of the pillars glowering down at him. Of course the fact that it’s the least likely place to find Batman probably means Batman has his underground lair right underneath it. After I realized that I spent the last four episodes looking for Batman… which is probably why he wasn’t there… Cause if I thought he was there, because I didn’t think he was there then… Man… I think I just broke my brain.

****

Did you see that guy who blew that golf tournament? Yeah me neither. I heard about though which is just about the only way I interact with professional golf. I feel like we need to spice it up a little bit. What if we took the spectators and scattered them randomly along the fairway, then when the golfer’s golfed (why does that sound like something Dora the Explorer would yell?) they would not only have to try and get it in the hole, but they would have to try and avoid hitting innocent bystanders? Now THAT I would watch.

****

My wife is an exceedingly wonderful woman who has to put up with a lot (namely me). Which (among other things) occasionally involves me wasting my time cavalierly saving people, who do not actually exist at all. Lately this has manifested in my playing of Amazing Spiderman (the video game). I’ll probably talk more in depth about this on Thursday but for now all you need to know is that last night I jumped off of the highest building in New York, swung on my web twice, and landed with hawk like precision on the shoulders of an unsuspecting mugger. Yup. I’m pretty sweet.

***

Ya know how they used to have a secret red phone in the White House that was a direct link to the President of Russia, or whatever? I recently discovered a secret phone hidden in the maintenance closet. It’s brown. I’m gonna let your imaginations finish that joke.

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So they finally released a trailer for the new Superman movie. For those of you not in know (i.e. Normal people with social lives), this movie is directed by Zach Snyder who you might remember as that guy who directed 300. I don’t mind Snyder but let’s all remember that he also directed Sucker Punch a weird movie that somehow wasn’t awesome despite having a plot consisting mainly of  “hot, crazy girls fight robots using Samurai swords.”

Anyway, this might be the least informative trailer ever created as all I can surmise at this point is Superman is a hitchhiker and mind numbingly good looking. Also Russell Crowe says some inspirational things about mankind. Apparently Snyder also stole the soundtrack from the Lord of the Rings which seems like a really odd thing to do. I mean everyone knows that’s the soundtrack from the Lord of the Rings, right? Everyone?

One of these things just doesn’t belong… let’s see… which of us is wearing our underwear on the outside?

***

Now that the Summer Comic book movies are over, where does DC Comics go from here?

Well… Nowhere good. Here’s the thing with DC there characters have never really taken off like Marvel’s (the other big comic book company) have and as such most of their characters are either dumb or super obvious rip-offs of Marvel characters.

For instance: The Justice League (DC’s attempt to be the Avengrers) primarily consist of: Green-Lantern (dumb), Superman (classic but… kind of dumb), Wonder Woman (sexist and dumb), Batman (awesome), and a bunch of other kind of lame Super-heroes that no one remembers. So when DC says “hey we’re totally gonna make a Justice League movie!!” You can see why I’m not exactly jumping for joy.

Anyway… right now DC is banking on Superman next summer, maybe a wonder-woman movie, maybe another Green-Lantern movie, and maybe some other movie about something else I probably won’t care that much about. I miss Batman.

***

Now that the Summer Comic book movies are over, where does Marvel go from here?

Sequel land of course!! Spider-man, Ironman, Thor, Wolverine, X-men, and Captain America will all be having sequels in development as the next year or two go by. As far as new movies go they are making a… gulp… Ant-man movie… ew… I’m gonna go wash my hands. And a “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie. I googled “Guardians of the Galaxy” cause I had never heard of them before and google called me a nerd and tried to send me to match.com. Then I googled “Ant-man” and google threw up on my keyboard.

Ant-man is a hero who can grow or shrink at will and has a cont… yeah I don’t care.

Yeah… he’s that kind of dumb.

***

Thanks for reading this randomnicity readers! I’ll see ya Thursday!!

 

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