The Dark Knight Rises

Posted: July 23, 2012 by Micah in Movie Reviews
Tags: , , , , , ,

Usually this is the part of the blog where I open with some vague witticism about my weekend or how my biceps are bigger than yours or something true but slightly insulting to most of my readers, because I have image issues that I mask behind my ability to bang my head against a keyboard and form poorly punctuated sentences… wow… that was dark. But I won’t do that this week!! Unless you count those sentences. Which we won’t… Because today is all about!!

 Micah Reviews: The Dark Knight Rises.

Either they’re about to fight or Bane just stuck the landing after the most epic uneven bars routine ever… no idea which would be better.

The Plot:

(I’m keeping this rather short and VERY spoiler free for the sake of those of you who haven’t watched the movie yet.)

It’s eight years after the events of The Dark Knight and Batman hasn’t been seen since. Gotham seems to be enjoying a period of relative piece as the organized crime that haunted them for the last forever or so seems to have finally been beaten down. But lurking on the horizon like heartburn after Chili Cheese Fries is Bane! A merciless mercenary whose merciless mercenary mission is to mercilessly maim the piece and quite of Gotham!

Will Batman return? Will he be able to stop Bane and save Gotham once more? Why is Michael Cain so awesome? These questions and many more will all be answered over the course of the Dark Knight Rises!

I feel like my “Will Batman return” question was rhetorical. He always returns. Always.

The Pros:

An absolutely great ending to an Epic film Trilogy. There’s really no higher compliment I can give to this movie then: probably better than the Dark Knight. That said… I’m gonna give it more compliments.

Probably the best put together over all plot of the Trilogy. The movie kept you guessing, never dragged, and had several amazing moments to it that were all timed perfectly. The Dark Knight occasionally dragged and had very few huge reveals to it, not that I’m criticizing that movie (seeing as I practically proposed marriage to it) I’m just saying that if that movie was a triple malt shake, with extra whip cream. This is a triple malt shake with extra whip cream and a ten dollar bill on top of it.

New cast members do awesome! Tom Hardy is great as Bane, providing equal parts menace and intelligence while also looking like he eats school busses filled with adorable chinchillas for breakfast. Joseph Gordon-Levitt continues his run of awesomeness as a Gotham Cop, and Marion Cotillard doesn’t make me want to shoot her with poison tipped nerf gun (which is a big step up for her). Also:

Can we please leave Anne Hathaway alone? She was GREAT as Catwoman. I repeat: GREAT! I’m not even a big Anne Hathaway fan and I’ll admit that she was great. Playing a believable character with a lot of depth who was a ton of fun to watch on screen. Leave her alone.

Leave her alone.

Mad props to the awesome returning cast! Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Martin Freeman, and the ever amazing Michael Caine just keep bringing the fire.

The Cons:

Umm…. Oh okay I got one.

I felt like the ending was foreshadowed just a little too much. I can’t say much more without giving it away but if you’ve seen the movie you probably know what I’m talking about. Not a huge deal obviously but there you have it. A con.

In Conclusion:

“A Batman is never late. He arrives precisely when he means to”… I am such a nerd.

A masterful ending to the best movie Trilogy I’ve watched since the Lord of the Rings. Shut up Star Wars fans, you know Return of the Jedi was a letdown. The thing with Star Wars is that the debate still rages on as to which was better: New Hope or Revenge of the Sith (movies four and five for those of you who aren’t cool enough to know or have fulfilling social lives outside of fantasy realities… And movies four and five are technically movies one and two… but they aren’t one and two cause those were horrible and… okay you know what. Nevermind. Just go back to raising your families or having friends who actually exist or whatever it is you people do.).

Anyway… nobody cares about Return of the Jedi, there were Jawas in it. The weakest of the Batman movies is the first one, they got progressively better as the characters and the world grew. Just the way a good Trilogy should. An epic storyline that spans all three movies (especially the last two were VERY well tied together) AND an amazing stand-alone movie The Dark Knight Rises definitely goes (and/or Rises) right to the top of my must see movie listings.

I give it 5 malicious mercenaries, out of 5.

  1. Lydia says:

    Interesting review. I read some newspaper reviews that were rather opposite. Hum. I’ll probably get around to watching next year. 😀 (Says the person who has yet to see Inception.)

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