Oh the happy daysenhood. At last, after months of anticipation, years of quietly waiting like a child anxiously awaiting the answer to Dora the Explorers latest trivia based question thing, the time is upon us. The sun has risen. The skies are clear. Now is the time!! For Justin Bieber Never Say Never!! Ba ha ba ha. No. I care not for this Bieber nor for his sayings.

No, this week is the time has come for…

Micah Reviews: The Amazing Spiderman.

He’s bringing Spider back!!… Wow… don’t believe I just made that joke… my humor hurts…

The Plot:

Peter Parker is just your average throat chokingly cute child playing hide and seek. That is until his father’s office is broken into by the types of people who break into offices and ruin perfectly good games of hide and seek. Post hide and seek Peter is left by his parents at his Aunt Beru’s and Uncle Owen’s too…. wait… No I mean he’s left at his Uncle Ben’s and Aunt May’s. Anyway they take over the role of raising the child which we skip entirely… which is how I intend to parent. With a flash cut. “Hello child. I’m going to cut cameras now and you’ll be a mostly responsible high schooler” and… cut.

Anyway though, Peter is just a normal kid in high kid school, well… mostly normal anyway. He’s a good photographer, a kid who stands up for other less fortunate kids and gets the ever loving kudos beat out of him as a direct result. Also in the course of his childhoodliness he meets Gwen Stacy; the cute attractive smart witty awesome girl who he has a crush on.

Do you believe in magic?? In a young girls heart??

Also mucking about in the sweet sweet mossy underbelly of this movie’s plot… wow… that sentence got weirdly creepy really fast… is Dr. Curt Connors, a one armed bio-engineer desperately trying to re-gain his arm and cure his boss with one magical potion of magichood. Dr. Connors (as it turns out) worked right alongside Peter’s father which is not only how the two meet but also how Peter ends up getting bitten by a radioactive spider and becoming the Hulk… I mean… Spiderman.

Will Dr. Connors be successful? And at what cost will his success come? Will Peter and Gwen stay together or be torn apart by Peter’s secret identity and gorgeous hair.

The Positives:

Spiderman (the Amazing) is an incredibly well cast movie. Andrew Garfield is ROCK solid as Peter Parker making the character believably conflicted and also very realistic. Emma Stone turns in a stellar performance as Gwen Stacy, elevating the character from simple “damsel in distress” to actual character with strong emotions and give and take with Peter. Other great performances were turned in by Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors and Denis Leary as Gwen Stacy’s father who plays a surprisingly pivotal role in the movie. And mad mad props go out to the ever amazing Martin Sheen!! A man who delivers fatherly wisdom like no one else ever in the world and a man who is still my favorite fake president of all time!

The story is very very well told. Just from casually glancing around the internet I can tell you that there are some fairly strong mixed feelings about the Amazing Spiderman. A large portion of these feelings go “It moved to slow” or “there wasn’t enough fighting” or “the person in front of me wore a ten gallon hat and ate chili cheese fries loudly, before dying of a heart attack.” But let me just tell you now that I appreciated SOOO much the free chili cheese fries I got from that man’s untimely death… wait, I mean… I appreciated SO much the time that Director Mark Webb took telling this story right. This movie is not just an excuse to watch Spiderman punch people disguised as a melodrama. Nor is it a dark look at a dark world of darkness that DESPERATELY wants to be the Dark Knight. This is a movie about two kids growing up in the midst of extra-ordinary circumstances. It’s a movie about a Super-hero becoming a Super hero and most importantly it’s a movie not about Spiderman but about a boy named Peter Parker.

I appreciate SO much Webb’s (yes it’s ironic. Shut up.) approach to both Park and Gwen Stacy and I hope Marvel is smart enough to realize they’ve got a great thing going and keep him in charge!.. Phew… man… That was a rant. Anyway though… I also really liked the “Peter looking for parents” subplot and can’t wait to see where it goes.

There’s a lot more I could put here: the combat is great, the humor is spot on, heart felt moments really felt my heart etc. This is a great movie, there is no reason for you not to watch it!

I’m putting this picture here cause it’s awesome. No captain necessary. Except for that one… and this one… and that one… and…

The Negatrons:

I have two exceedingly small gripes about this movie. Gripe A: I wish we had more time to deal with the Lizard. The Lizard (this movies villain) is one of the most interesting villains in the comics’ universe. He’s a character who has a ton of internal conflict and goes through a nigh on heartbreaking series of events as he morphs into the Lizard. The movie glosses over most of that and entirely eliminates the real tragic elements of the character (in the comics he’s a man with a family who nearly/actually kills his own child, while in the movies his family is never seen (though he does wear a wedding ring which is odd)). That said the Lizard is still a MUCH better villain then most comic book villains from last year (Red Skull, that terrible horrible Green Lantern villain, and even (Debatably) Loki). Given that the Amazing Spiderman already runs over 2 hours I guess an expanded look at the Lizard was just something we didn’t have time for but still… it made me a little sad.

Gripe B: Sally Fields has never looked more like a Zombie. Sally plays Aunt May a very important role and she just looks… old. And not old in a “well aged pickle” sort of way. Old in a “there may not be blood flowing in her veins any more” sort of way.

In Conclusion:

The Amazing Spiderman is a brilliant movie with a very well chosen cast and several moments that brought a teary sort of lump to my throat. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone anchor a superb cast with great chemistry! I can’t wait for the next one!

I give it 4 Zombie Sally’s out of 5!

An Answer to the Question Everyone Won’t Shut Up About:

“Which did you like better?” “Is it too soon for a re-boot?” And so on and so forth. I thought about this for a long time… and when I say a long time I mean like… ten minutes. Which is long time for me to think about anyth…. … And ya know what? It doesn’t matter. I appreciated the original Spiderman movies. Sure I had my problems with them. Yes Spiderman 3 was probably the worst thing that’s happened to Spiderman since last Halloween when all of your acne covered nerd friends dressed like him. But ya know what? This is a new movie series. I like new movies. I like Spiderman. Why not like this one too? Sure I could stand and talk about Andrew Garfield vs. Tobey Macguire, and whether or not Gwen Stacy is a better character then Mary Jane (she is) but ya know what??? It doesn’t matter. If you like the original Spiderman movies good for you. I hope you like the re-boot too. If you decide to stick with the originals and throw your filled bowls of mashed potatoes at any form of change then have fun with that too Reginald. Let me know how that horse ride into work goes for you.

What I’m saying is: I’m going to stop comparing the new and the old. I’m going to have my cake and eat it too by Great Aunt Gertha!!

All that soap boxiness to say: The Amazing Spiderman is a great movie. Enjoy it!!

Comments
  1. Editor says:

    I whole heatedly agree. Also, don’t leave the theatre before watching the first smidgen of credits…

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