In Time

Posted: March 5, 2012 by Micah in Movie Reviews
Tags: , , ,

Ah Justin Timberlake. A guy who had a job as a performing artist that made him millions of dollars, garnered him all sorts of awards, and made him the creepy teen crush of creepy teen girls all across these united creepy states (mostly Idaho). But was Justin Timberlake content? Did he decide “hey I’ve got a good thing going on! I think I’ll just spend the rest of my life using hundred dollar bills to make delicate origami foldings of my golden face!!” No, instead he thought to himself “You know what? I think I’ll get into acting!! And (maybe) if I work very hard I’ll even be able to one day star in a movie with Amanda Seyfried and some weird robotic clone of Cillian Murphy!” And Justin (the little phenomenally rich, successful, and attractive boy who could) did just that.

Micah Reviews: In Time.

You think we could find some middle ground here. I mean "live forever or die trying?" How about "live for abnormally long, or get a little sick trying" I could go for that?

In a futuristic society money is no longer the currency of choice. Instead, everyone works with and for; time! Going to work gets you a certain amount of hours, buying a cup of coffee costs you a certain amount of minutes, etc. In this society we are introduced to Justin Timberlake who plays the part of a poor futuristic person named something that’s not Justin Timberlake (but every time you see him you’ll think “hey, that’s Justin Timberlake”)

Anyway Justin is a poor boy from a poor family (who can do the fandango… four people got that joke…) and his mom dies (cause she runs out of time). But Justin meets some really rich guy who apparently has been too rich for too long and gives Justin all his time because… he wants to… I guess. Anyway, Justin then goes forth to meet some rich people and their daughters (enter Amanda Seyfried’s character). Seyfried and Timberlake decide to wonder off to throw down the society around them and topple down the rich, elitest, and overly well fed people. So the poor, oppressed, people who don’t shower enough can have a chance at a better (or at least less smelly) life.

The Positrons:

The whole time is currency thing is a pretty cool idea… that’s about all I got on this one.

The Negatrons:

Surprisingly Justin Timberlake was probably the best actor in this whole movie… you’ll not that’s in the negatives section.

Why on earth does Amanda Seyfried keep getting hired for movies?? Who makes a movie and says “You know what we could use for this one? An over-acting, kind of unattractive, leading lady who has never come even close to carrying an even half decent film.” Let’s talk about her last few movies shall we?

She was in “Red Riding Hood” one of my least favorite movies of all time. Then Dear John a horrible, terrible chick flick with the rapidly decaying pile of pudding that is Channing Tatum. And since “In Time” was released she’s starred in Gone a movie I did not watch but thus far holds the award for the worst reviewed movie of 2012! Someone told me she was really good in a TV show called “Big Love” and the following conversation took place.

Me: “She was?”

Them: “Yeah, I thought she did really well.”

Me: “Who did she play?”

Them: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “I’m guessing it was someone who whined and had big eyes?”

Them: “Yeah… that sounds right…”

Congrats there, Amanda. Well done.

"Hmmm... maybe I'll try acting in this scene.... nah"

Moving on from that rant to things that make me want to set myself on fire slightly less. the script for in Time was iffy at best. It really thought it was clever with the whole “time” idea working in phrases like. “Don’t waste my time” “I don’t have the time to gamble” “Can you spare a minute” stuff like that. At first it was sort of cool but eventually it gets incredibly gimmicky. Like when a character says the name of the movie he/she is in but much worse cause it happened every ten minutes.

And finally, on the saddest note, it grieves me to say that Cillian Murphy has apparently passed beyond this mortal realm. Murphy played the Scarecrow in the Batman movies, or the rich guy in Inception, or Damien in one of the longest love notes ever written to the country of Ireland “The Wind that Shakes the Barley.” I always thought Murphy did really great work with his characters but it’s so sad to see what is apparently all that’s left of his corpse being forced through the motions in a sad attempt at something Sci-fi. You can practically see how bored Murphy is in every shot of the film, like bringing a hungry lion to an all you can eat vegan buffet there is absolutely nothing going on here that Murphy cared about.

It's okay Cillian. It's not your fault man... it's not your fault.

And really finally you know how in movies where something is hinted at in the beginning and then comes back in the end to play a very important part? Like someone happens to say “I can’t be killed on a Thursday as long as the moon is full and the sweet gossamer tones of Frank Sinatra are crooning the chorus of ‘New York'” and then later on in the movie that character gets shot and lays motionless on the ground for a minute and you think all is lost until you realize that it’s Thursday, the moon is shining brightly through the window, and someone next door is popping in an old Vinyl record of ‘New York’ while sipping a snifter of brandy (yeah that was fun to type… snifter). “In Time” does that just about every four seconds. Incredibly. Obviously. It practically flashes signs that say “REMEMBER THIS LATER” at four second intervals and doesn’t even make the pay off for those things actually happening later all that great. Eventually you just start feeling like you’ve seen everything that’s going on before… probably cause you have.

In Conclusion.

In Time wasn’t necessarily a bad movie. The idea was cool and original and it had its moments. That said it was blandly predictable, poorly acted, and questionably written and certainly leaves you feeling a bit jipped when all is said and done.

I give it 2 tortured Cillian Murphy’s out of 5.

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