Weekly Headlines 12/08

Posted: December 8, 2011 by Micah in Weekly Headlines
Tags: , , , ,

Hey all and welcome to another thrilling episode of that thing we call Weekly Headlines!! News that’s partly true and partly me being blatantly mean to innocent bystanders.

The reality series “Baseball Wives” premiered this week. No this is not a complete rip off of the reality series “Basketball Wives”. For starters this show takes longer and involves a lot more chewing gum, whereas Basketball wives has an egregious amount of tattoos, and women roughly the height of double-decker busses.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 Episode 7″ stayed atop the box office for the third week in a row. The Muppets stayed at number two and in fact pretty much every movie from last week is in the same spot this week. Movie Theaters really weren’t that surprised, given that the most exciting movie to come out last week was “Hypodromia: The Little Potato that Couldn’t.”

You remember a couple weeks ago when Benecio Del Torro said he was gonna be in Star Trek? Yeah, he’s not doing that anymore. In the absence of Del Torro (the actor chiefly remembered for ruining the Wolfman despite being cast across from Hugo Weaving and Anthony Hopkins.) Abrams will be auditioning a drowning fish and a four year old girl recently deprived of her dolly.

"But dad I don't want to be the Wolfman. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you!"

Actor/rapper/famed drink chiller, Ice Cube is developing his first TV show. The show called “Eye for an Eye” will be about a vigilante Ambulance worker, who sings about how no one understands “how life used to be.” Either that or the story of an underground eye-ball smuggler… which would be terrible.

Apparently Stan Lee (famed comic book writer behind the X-men, Thor, and Sliced Bread) has come up with a new super-hero that he’s dubbed “The Annihilator.” The scriptwriter for Real Steel has signed on to write the script for a movie called “The Annihilator” which he says will involve a lot of “annihilation.”

Yes, Stan Lee is brilliant. He's also one of the Top Five Creepiest Looking Men Ever!

The director for Thor 2 (Patty Jenkins) has officially resigned from the project. As the search for a new director commences Chris Hemsworth commented that, “Patty was great! Kept staring at my hulking, ripped, well-formed, and perfectly sculpted muscles though… so that was weird.”

And finally “New Years Eve” the sequel to last years “Valentines Day” continues to try to convince people that it’s actually a good movie. It’s kind of adorable, like when a four-year old boy tries to convince you that he’s a Bull Terrier or when  anyone uses the words “Ashton Kutcher” and “acting” in the same sentence.

Don't you hate it when you go for a handshake and the other person does a fist bump? Ashton Kutcher does.


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