Weekly Headlines 12/02

Posted: December 2, 2011 by Micah in Weekly Headlines
Tags: , , ,

Welcome to weekly headlines everyone! Though to be fair it’s been a couple weeks since I did one of these, but Weekly-ish headlines is a terrible name so… yeah.

The writers of “Kung Fu Panda 2” have been signed on to write Reese Witherspoons next movie. The movie, tentatively titled  “wish list,” will be about a career focused women who gets her wish for a child unexpectedly granted. When asked to comment on the new film the writers said that after writing an original script based on a cool idea they thought it would be a nice change of pace to take an idea that’s already been made into roughly four million movies, fall asleep on their keyboards, and call it a film.

“Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 1” ruled the box office with a glitter clad fist once again this week. A movie that features a C-section performed with vampire teeth has now reigned at the box office for two weeks, everyone. I have never been more ashamed to be a human.

Darren Aronofsk, director of the still in production Biblical epic “Noah”, has reported that Christian Bale (the actor who plays Batman) will not be playing the title character of his film. Next on Aronofk’s list is apparently Michael Fassbender who, you may remember, played Magneto in X:Men First Class. Aronofsk said it was a shame about Christian Bale’s inability to be in the production and that he didn’t know what he was going to do with the early design sketches for the Bat-ark.

The movie “Smurfs” (a movie that exactly 21.5 people watched in theaters) comes to DVD this week… yeah I don’t really care either.

Never will you see a greater waste of the color blue.

“The Cabin in the Woods” a movie co-written by Joss Whedon (who you may remember as one of the coolest people ever) just released this poster.

For some reason this picture makes me hungry... I have no idea why.

The movie stars “Thor” leading man Chris Hemsworth and is said to be a horror film featuring Hemsworth flexing a lot and summoning lightning, while playing with the cabin like it’s a rubix cube.

The makers of Facebook have announced that they will continue stealing your soul with a smile for years to come.

The day after Thanksgiving or Black Friday as it’s called continues to be one of the least Thankful days of the year. Featuring grumpy, overfed, pretentious people standing in really long lines so they can be trampled to death.

"I just feel so grateful to be a part of this."

Steven Soderbergh has been called on to direct a movie titled “The Bitter Pill”. The film will supposedly cover the tense world of Pharmaceutical sales. Soderbergh said that he was done covering this particular tension filled epic he would move on to the angst filled world of pickle making.

Have a great weekend!

Comments
  1. Leslie Bowman says:

    Don’t forget that Breaking Dawn has been reported to have caused several seizures in male-filmgoers….but yet it’s still like a train wreck: people just can’t look away. What a blessing 😉

  2. I love the way you phrase things. “they thought it would be a nice change of pace to take an idea that’s already been made into roughly four million movies, fall asleep on their keyboards, and call it a film.” Bahahha!

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