Posted: December 1, 2011 by Micah in Movie Reviews
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Hey everybody! Happy post-thanksgiving weight loss plan to everyone!! No seriously, we all know that weight loss doesn’t actually start until January first when we all stand around and pat our turkey laden belly’s and mutter thing like “Man I need to lose some weight” generally followed by “is anyone going to eat that last piece of pie?” It is roughly a month later that you realize you have roughly the same muscle to fat ratio as a slightly overweight manatee.

Anyway though yes I did have a fantastic thanksgiving and have a TON to be thankful for! But enough of that happiness thing, let’s get back to the scathing sarcasm and tree lemur humor that keeps you all coming back to Thoughts We Might Have Had. Time for a review of, Tron: Legacy.

Is it just me or does this look creepily like the original Star Wars poster??

 Micah Reviews: Tron: Legacy

Tron (Legacy of Tron) starts off in the mid 90’s… I think. Where a young boy is being read too by his computer generated father (more on that later). Said father tells him the story of a magical computer kingdom where Programs are alive, and the streets are made of megabytes, and everyone has their own personal Cyber-gerbil with which to gerb.

Anyway his father drives away and disappears and the movie jumps forward ten years where the young boy from the original scene is a young man with an ugly dog and a weird hair-do. It seems the young man has never really given up the hope of finding his father cause roughly two seconds into his new life someone mentions his dad and the guy goes running off to his father’s old arcade to breathe in the nostalgia.

The kid then accidentally gets sucked into a computer program created by his dad that turns out to be the very same place his father used to tell him stories about back when he was a younger less ugly dogged child.

Anyway our hero is re-united with his dad, who it seems is fighting an epic battle (and when I say “fighting” I mean “running and hiding”) with a clone of his younger self, named Clue. Father, son, and some out of place hot girl must band together to fight Clue, save the world, save the Cyberplanet people… thing, and hopefully at some point make the movie stop playing.

The Positives:

Tron looks awesome. The visuals are cool and the costumes are generally fairly sweet though occasionally they look kind of… weird. Like someone was trying to design a new kind of lego and spilt glowy blue paint on it.

The Negative:

Okay let’s get one thing out of the way right now. Doing CGI to make an older actor look younger is NOT COOL Hollywood. NOT COOL! I mean they tried to do it for Patrick Stewart in Wolverine and it didn’t work. You really think that something that doesn’t work for Patrick Stewart is going to work for Jeff Bridgers (the actor who plays the father)? The opening scene where the  father (CGI youngified Bridgers) is reading to his kid, borders on horrifying. I kept expecting CGI Bridgers to open his gaping mouth and eat him like so many child flavored cashews. It’s not quite as jarring in the computer world because everything is CGI but even there it still creeps me out.

The script is… all right. Though certain points (especially towards the end of the movie) make no sense at all. Like the writers were all kidnapped towards the end of production and the studio execs decided that rather than get new ones they would just tie letter stamps onto the feet of an iguana and let it walk across the blank pages. At one point the main villains henchmen makes a decision so blatantly illogical that I literally rewound the movie twice out of pure disbelief.

And finally the acting… oh the acting. Now let me say that I have seen worse acting in many many places throughout the world but I have NEVER seen acting that was so soulless in all my life. Maybe it’s cause there was so much CGI in the film that none of the actors could really get a grasp on the idea or maybe an evil howler monkey hit them with a shovel before they went on film but I have never seen a group of actors do anything I believed less. Bridgers and Garret Hedlund (who plays the main character) are the two I hold most guilty of this but it’s a fairly widespread truth. Honestly Olivia Wilde (who plays the “totally shoe horned in hot girl cause we need a hot girl in this movie” character) delivers the most genuine performance and that right there should tell you something. Michael Sheen does a good job with his character but seeing as his character is completely INSANE in a world where everyone else is so entirely boring it makes my liver hurt, his performance is more jarring then it is impressive.

   In Conclusion:

A couple people have told me that to really appreciate this movie I have to watch the original “Tron” a movie that came out during the Mezzozaic era  and was highly reviewed by various dinosaurs who said things like “Raaaaawwwrrrr….” about it. (no offense meant to people who were born previous to the release of this film, I love you all. Except you Stanley…) All I’m saying is if you release the sequel to your movie 25 YEARS after the original, you may not want to make the plot hinge on intimate details from it. In the end, the CGI is the best part of this movie and honestly what movie doesn’t have good CGI these days!

I give it 1 creepy Jeff Bridgers out of 5.


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