Weekly Headlines 11/17

Posted: November 17, 2011 by Micah in Weekly Headlines
Tags: , , , , ,

In our lead story not much actually happened this week.

Tangled Ever After the sequel to Disney’s Tangled is officially being released. Here’s what most people may not know. This “sequel” is in fact just a digital short that will be played in theaters before Beauty and the Best 3D. Yes ladies and gentlemen Disney is trying to steal your money. I realize that 3D can be cool but why would I pay fifteen dollars to watch a movie I HAVE ALREADY SEEN while wearing uncomfortable glasses? Apparently Disney has realized this too and is hoping that people will pay fifteen dollars to watch what will at most be a ten minute film featuring characters that are actually interesting. They want your souls people. They want your souls.

Don't believe the lie people... don't believe the lie!

In the sports world Charley Strong, coach of Louisville‘s football team, has publicly stated that the reason his team played poorly last week was because the students were off playing the newly released Call of Duty game. When asked why he didn’t do the whole “coaching” thing and get his players to stop being idiots the coach said he would have but was: “like four cards away” from winning solitaire.

Mirror Mirror, a re-imagining of the children’s classic Snow White, released its trailer earlier this week. No this is not a re-post. This is actually a totally separate movie from Snow White and the Hunstmen a re-imagining of Snow White that came out with its trailer LAST week. Also Snow White and the Hunstmen looks good. Mirror Mirror looks like what would happen if someone fed an Anteater a whole colony of red ants and then punched it in the stomach. Sticky, clumpy, nasty, and vaguely reminiscent of Julia Roberts back when she could act. If the movie was hoping to convince me not to watch it: it has succeeded.

 

Hey look a dumb semi generic looking title poster... sort of like the movie...

Immortals claimed the top spot in the box office this week. The movies features Henry Cavill, the actor playing Superman in the new Man of Steel coming out next summer, and Mickey Rourke. And then a lot of people hitting each other with swords and wearing tiny skirts. Mickey Rourke continues to act incredibly well without ever seeming to actually open his mouth when he talks. When asked to comment on this Mickey said “I’ve cansdfhd.” And “aasfhdsf”

Me king. This my pet beetle Gormandorf. Fear him.

At midnight tonight the new Twilight Movie Breaking Dawn Part 1 hits theaters. It’s sequel Breaking Afternoon is scheduled for release next summer. People have literally been lined up outside theaters for days waiting for the release of this movie… or protesting wall street… it’s hard to tell sometimes.

And here’s a random picture I thought was funny…

That's commitment.

Like I said… not a lot happened this week.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 has become the single fastest selling game of all time. In the 5 days since it’s release the game has grossed $775 million worldwide. I was going to pick up a copy but the entireLouisville state football team was in front of me in line so I missed out.

Bradley Cooper was recently named the sexiest man alive. In unrelated news George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackmen, and a ton of other better looking men reported that they are in fact still living. In less related news the naked Mole Rat was recently named cutest mammal.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s