Micah was… (Episode 2)

Posted: October 21, 2011 by Micah in Randomnicity
Tags: , , ,

So two months ago I wrote this about Transformers 3 “This is the last movie… at least until they make the next one.” And ladies and gentleman Micah was…. right!!

Transformers 4: Cause we haven't destroyed Chicago enough.

Transformers 4: Cause we haven't destroyed Chicago enough.

The last few weeks have been filled with all sorts of swirly internet typed rumors about the “next transformers movie(s)” Well it seems like this time the internet was actually right (unlike when they promised me that free Ipad, luxury cruise, and singing ballistic missile). It seems the good folks at Paramount have decided to make at least two more Transformers movies justifying the whole “we said the last movie was the last movie” thing by saying “the last movie was the last movie of that Transformers Trilogy.” That’s like when you were a kid and you told your mom that you had brushed your teeth. And when she called you on the fact that you still had chocolate stuck in your teeth you said “I meant I brushed them yesterday.” So yes Paramount is now behaving like you… when you were four. The next series (or dualogy) will apparently have a new director, a new lead character and pretty much the exact same Transformers because let’s face it the one thing that actually worked in the last couple Transformers movies were the actual Transformers.

It seems Shia Labeuaf will be staying as far away from this movie as he stayed away from actually thinking about his lines in the last one.

Honestly, I don’t care. Let them make more Transformers movies. Let them get Jason Statham (a veteran of many martial arts movies and the current rumored star) to put Optimus Prime in a headlock. I’m sure I will watch them at some point. I’m sure the fighting robots will be cool, the plot will be bad, and that some significant landmark will be decapitated, grafitied, or used to transmit an evil signal that turns our blenders into evil robots and our children into really whiny kids at McDonalds.

Once you pass movie 3 and have to dance around the fact that you said it was going to be the last movie I just stop caring. At least the X-men went back and started doing pre-quels once they made X-men 3 and realized it had the equivalent cinematic value as a parents recording of their child’s first grade play “The Life of Broccoli.” And hey, I think a Transformers prequel would actually be moderately interesting, but nope. They’re just gonna keep plowing ahead hoping to capitalize on whiny kids at McDonalds and the fact it never gets old watching a car change into a giant robot, and punch you in the face.

************

And now some random movie news:

Eminem is making a movie called Southpaw about an underdog boxer making an unlikely comeback. The movie got axed a few months ago but is now back alive again. Thus making this: an underdog film by Eminem, called Southpaw about an underdog boxer who made an unlikely comeback, which made an unlikely comeback.

The Kardashian sisters have announced that they will continue to be petty and selfish. I announced shortly afterward that I didn’t care.

In my Judging Covers article the other day I mentioned Liam Neeson’s next movie “The Grey” well the official poster has now been released.

When I'm a father and my children misbehave I will show them this picture.

And yes: It’s the best thing ever. Also “Live or Die This Day” might be this years “Best Movie Tagline” I mean that’s just awesome.

In other extremely sad but hilariously funny news the CDC (Center for Disease Control) an official government agency has released a blog and a children’s comic on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. Here’s a link to the actual article but really CDC? Have we reached the point that we’re starting to believe the fiction that we are in fact creating? What’s next a pamphlet on how to develop your Jedi powers? Or how to survive a Godzilla attack? Granted I think this is just them trying to get Americans to visit the CDC website (something I never would have done otherwise) and prepare for other actual potential emergencies (floods, tornadoes, and Justin Bieber) without realizing we’re doing it. But really?

And finally, in a twist of extremely irony the movie “Premium Rush” has been delayed seven months. Yup, a movie built around meeting deadlines or dying, has officially not met one. That can’t be a good thing right?

 

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