Random Movie Thoughts:
All right, so school is piling up like hollywood remakes today but because I love you all so very much I figured I couldn’t just leave you hanging all day today. Just cause I like you so much then, here are some random movie thoughts! And also (cause I like you so much) tomorrow I’ll be reviewing Inception! That’s right a Friday posting!! First though, hang onto your dentures though grandma, cause it’s about to get sick up in here!!
Well folks, Hollywood has officially set itself a new record low!! “Creature” a movie that looked so bad I hurt my brain watching the trailer, has officially become the lowest grossing movie of all time! (among movies that opened in at least 1,000 theaters). According to the good people at Yahoo; Creature opened in 1,507 theaters and grossed a whopping 331,000 dollars. That’s roughly 220 dollars per theater. Just for comparison’s sake when Harry Potter Seven premiered at midnight it grosses upwards of 43 million dollars. And that’s just from the midnight showing, Creature had an entire weekend in which to prove that it was horrible.
Let me make one thing very clear before we go any further: I DID NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. I would not touch this movie with a twenty-foot pole, made out of the wings of a griffin. If I were given the choice between watching this movie and watching “How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days” I would watch myself shoot me in the shin. That said, the reviews I read summarized the plot as: Attractive, stupid people visit a small run down store on their way to New Orleans where they are told that a mysterious creature known as “Lockjaw” haunts a cabin in the middle of the swamp. Naturally the geniuses decide that Lockjaw is just a myth and that the obvious solution is to camp out next to the cabin, talk loudly, and take their clothes off (once again I did NOT watch this movie). Everyone has universally agreed that this is a terrible movie that features some of the worst script writing ever achieved by man or monkeys locked in a room with a computer. I find it mildly encouraging that American movie goers are at least smart enough to stay away from a movie hoping to draw people in with lines like “Evil has teeth” and “What could possibly go wrong?”).
Some recently announced movie castings that I find interesting: Hugh Jackman has been all set to play Jean Valjean in the latest big screen adaption of Les Miserables for a while now. Recently, however, some very cool rumors have started floating around (and been mostly confirmed) as to other members of the cast. Russel Crowe looks all set to play the movies main villain Javert. Helen Bonham Carter and Anne Hathaway also look to be connected to the project which will try and make itself distinct from the 4,327,497 other Les Miserables adaptations by being a musical and having Hugh Jackmen occasionally sprout Wolverine claws and slash at people he doesn’t like.
At some point on this website I’m going to have to write about Doctor Who. It is without a doubt my favorite thing to watch on TV and something I enjoy more than most movies. The reason I haven’t yet is because I will lose all journalistic integrity as I write what will essentially amount to a gushy teenage girl love letter to David Tennant, Steven Moffat, and Matt Smith. And no one wants to see that. Especially not me. Who knows maybe once I catch up on my summer movies and run out of fall movies to tear viciously apart I’ll have time to sit down and really put a lot of thought into why I like Doctor Who without running out, grabbing my sonic screwdriver, and pretending to run my computer with it… but I doubt that.
Well there you go teeming masses (both of you). Have a great Thursday and a good weekend! I’ll see you tomorrow!