Warhammer 40,000 and World of Warcraft

Posted: July 28, 2011 by Micah in Video Game Reviews
Tags: , ,

Micah Reviews: Warhammer 40,000: Kill Team (and then talks randomly about why he doesn’t play World of Warcraft)

Space Marines!!! Need I say more?? (Editor’s note: Yes.) Oh… okay.

Warhammer 40,000: Kill Team is a game with a really long title that I’m calling Kill Team from now on. For those of you unfamiliar with the Warhammer series it’s arguably one of the more epic game franchises around. Warhammer appeals to that inner machine of destruction inside us all and has withstood the test of time by putting men in cool armor suits, pointing them at ugly things and telling us to kill them all “in the name of the Emperor”. Who is this Emperor? I have absolutely no idea. Nor do I care. In fact I never even gave it a thought. Why you ask? Cause I had a sword with a chainsaw on it and there was an orc running at me.

“Emperor schmemperor” I thought. “What is that orcs kidney doing still inside its body?” (Editor’s note: I’m not touching “schmemperor.” You’ve got to choose your battles.)

  The Plot:

Generally I’m big on video games having good plots. In fact, the main reason I play video games is because of the stories they tell. The idea of interactive storytelling is one of the things that makes games so interesting.  Like those old “choose your own adventure” stories except I get to shoot, stab, or cast magic in between choices. A win, win.

I make an exception for Kill Team for a couple reasons.
A: It’s a game that is fully aware that it has no storyline.
B: It doesn’t really care.
C: Chainsaw sword.

What story there is goes like this: Thousands of years into the future you are a Space Marine protecting the Imperium of Man. A massive orc spaceship is flying towards an undefended Imperial planet and your tiny transport ship is launched at the big ship. You smash through the ships hull and are left alone to stand against waves of orc forces and try and destroy the ship before it reaches the planet below.

Why not just shoot the ship down? Why not set off some kind of explosive? Why not ask the Orcs nicely, to go away and come back at a more convenient date? None of these things are brought up or touched on. Orcs are ugly, you’re awesome, go. The only thing worse then a game with no storyline is a game with a bad storyline (see my Hunted review). Kill Team knows it has no storyline and doesn’t really bother trying. It just let’s you have fun, and I’m okay with that.

 The Gameplay:

You can play as one of four characters in the game. Either a Legion Veteran (chainsword), a gunner (huge explosive guns), a TechMarine (pretty much worthless), or a Librarian (I’m not making that up. It’s what he’s called. Also he’s utterly and entirely worthless). Go with the first two. Just trust me on this. Me and Riley played through as the Veteran and the Gunner respectively and had a TON of fun. Riley stood back and blew stuff up. I screamed a lot and carved orcs into decorative, patchwork quilts with a sword (that was also a CHAINSAW).

The game gives you various objectives that generally go: pull this lever, blow this up, shoot that guy, be awesome.

The controls are fun and easily picked up and the game is just challenging enough to keep you going without being annoying and getting in the way of you stomping on things.

  The positives:

Kill Team is a game that knows exactly what it is: a fun romp for people looking to kill some hours with a friend. It does that absolutely brilliantly well. Me and Riley had an utter blast ravaging our way through the bowels of the orc ship and more then once stopped purely to admire how incredibly cool we were being.

Something that could count against it is that the game is relatively short, but honestly we only paid ten dollars for the download so I would count it as totally worth it. The only reason Kill Team feels so short is because it’s so incredibly fun that you don’t really want it to end.

 The Negatrons:

My one gripe with the game is that the checkpoint system is a little off. There are a number of challenging sections to it and while I’m all about the challenge I’m not all about listening to the same voice tell me the same thing about the same guy, five times in a row. Introducing a big boss character with a cool cut scene is cool. Doing it every time I die is much much less cool.

My other one gripe… My second one gripe… A gripe I have with this game that’s not that one gripe I said was my one gripe, is that every once in a while the camera decides that it would much rather be looking at a part of the wall then what you’re space marine is doing. I don’t know whether the camera has a thing for walls, or if maybe it’s afraid the walls will attack it when its back is turned or what but it certainly keeps a very close eye on them.

 In Conclusion:

I love skittles. Yeah, they’re not exactly the breakfast of champions and if I just ate skittles I would become a gelatinous mass of pink humanity but the fact remains that (in moderation) there is nothing I like more then a bag of skittles to snack on. Warhammer 40,000: Kill Team is a bag of skittles. It’s short, straightforward and knows exactly what it wants to do. No, it’s not a steak dinner of a game that will keep you engaged for weeks at a time, but that doesn’t take away from the awesome!! Space Marines rule supreme once more, as we charge into battle “FOR THE EMPEROR!! whoever he is.”

I give it 4 Chainsawed kidneys out of 5.

Wow… that took longer then I thought it would. Okay here’s what we’re gonna do. I’ll move my World of Warcraft ramblings down the page to its very own article called… Why Not World of Warcraft?

  1. Cassie says:

    I just want to say that the one player must not be a real librarian. Because librarians are, obviously, anything but useless. 🙂
    Very funny review, especially for someone who has never played a video game, and doesn’t understand them at all.
    Great job! 🙂

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